weekend with kayley

yesterday was my brother brent's birthday. 

so of course i want to do a birthday picture post for him. 

but i'm not home right now and thus,

don't have access to scrapbooks.

so in the meantime,

a small look at my weekend!

 the new velata!

chocolate fondue is pretty much my favorite dessert.

 lounge time with my sister-in-law.

we call it "daisy hour".

basically we lay around doing nothing and drink iced tea.

like daisy from the great gatsby.

it's fun! :)

 i babysat my niece kayley.

she was a very cute roommate.

 and here's kayley at church for her dedication.

she was VERY distracting for me.

i mean who can listen during church when this cutie is next to you?!?

 baby k and me.

love.

 

busy busy busy.

you know for my first week of no job and no school 

it was a lot busier than i expected! 

i'm exhausted.

but

in a matter of hours my family will be desending upon the house.

2 brothers.

2 sister-in-laws.

2 nephews.

and this beautiful little niece of mine

who is 7 weeks old today.

gosh i can't wait to snuggle that little girl!

you can expect lots of pictures coming soon from my weekend with the fam.

i'm excited.

interviews and unknowns

i had an interview today.

possibly the first of many.

and i hated it.

it didn't go badly.

it actually went really well i think.

but i just hate interviews.

that feeling like you have to prove yourself by your words.

it's terrible.

 

(i think my hormones are a mess today because i kind of want to cry while i'm writing this 

and there is NO good reason for that!)

 

the thing is, i know i'm a good teacher.

i am so grateful that i've finally found a career that comes so naturally to me.

my work speaks for itself.

so i'd much rather prove myself by my actions.

words are fickle.

and throw in pressure and nerves and it's just not fun!

i have some big decisions ahead of me.

the job market is not good for teachers right now.

but i do have possibilities.

 and each possibility has it's own set of positives and negatives.

none of them are "perfect".

so the reality is something is probably gonna have to give...

i'm just not sure what that will be yet. 

 

and i have a feeling the decision will have to be made before i have all the facts.

sigh.

God please help me trust in Your plan and seek Your will first.

 

book review: redeeming love by francine rivers

reviewing books actually makes me nervous. 

i know what i enjoy and don't enjoy. 

i just don't exactly know how to verbalize it yet. 

because reading to me is an "experience" more than an explanation.

 so please bear with me as i figure this reviewing business out.

on that note, 

i figured i'd start with a book so good it basically sells itself!

"California’s gold country, 1850. A time when men sold their souls for a bag of gold and women sold their bodies for a place to sleep."

The Plot

angel was sold into prostitution as a child.

she's bitter and gorgeous and surviving by clinging to her hate of men.

michael is the opposite of all the men angel has ever known.

he's good and honest and kind. 

michael follows God's calling and decides to marry and love angel, unconditionally.

angel has other ideas.

what follows is basically the most beautiful love story ever.

What I Think

honestly, this is my favorite book i've ever read.

and i've read it more times than i can count and just keep coming back to it. 

it's honest and brutal and so frustrating at times you just want to shake some sense into angel! 

but the love micheal shows her, 

unconditionally, 

goes beyond all of that.

i don't think you can read this book without crying at some point, 

from sadness or from happiness.

but what makes this book so great, and why i keep rereading it, 

is how it parallels what i believe is God's relationship with mankind. 

more specifically what i have personally experienced in my own relationship with God. 

i think everyone can connect to this story in one way or another.

it's a love story.

it's a story of sin. and redemption. and forgiveness.

it will break your heart.

and it will leave you completely satisfied.

the writing is simple and beautiful. 

the story gets inside your skin in the best way possible. 

and i don't think i've ever recommended this book to someone who didn't love it!

it's a must read.

 

coming soon: book reviews

so i've been thinking about what sort of "weekly feature" i want to do on my blog.

i've had tons of ideas.

all of which i've ruled out for a variety of reasons.

but what i do know is books.

i read a lot of books.

so... i think i'm gonna shoot for a weekly book review.

(see that fancy schmancy link on the top right where you will find them all, once there is an "all" to find!) 

the goal will be a new review every wednesday.

as a disclaimer, i read for entertainment.

i generally don't read super intellectual or serious books.

i like fiction: historical. fantasy. dystopian. young adult. adult. christian. chic lit. whatever!

give me fiction.

so that's mostly what i'll review.

take it or leave it. ;)

(via) 

happy reading!

 

gym time

i had a lovely weekend. 

the weather here has been just gorgeous. 

i actually started showing off my legs and bare arms which i haven't done in ages. 

 and i got tan lines!

there was a girls night out,

a saturday picnic with friends at golden gate park in the city,

and a sunday pool day.

and i switched my bed from my winter bedding to summer bedding.

which really says it all doesn't it?

great weekend.

but the real work began today.

monday morning.

gym time.

it went MUCH better than expected after a *cough*seven month*cough* hiatus.

although i think i pulled a muscle in my shoulder...

and i might have literally ran upstairs once to avoid talking to my old personal trainer.

(there is NO WAY i'm ready to have my body fat measured by him.)

not yet buddy.

but i'm doing it.

gym time.

5 days a week.

five. days. a. week.

here's a little quote i found on pinterest by the lovely gwyneth that i love.

because let's be real,

she looks great.

and it's nice to know she has to work for it.

makes me feel like i can do it too.

i did it!!!!!

i just submitted my last assignment EVER for my credential program!!!

i honestly didn't think this day would come.

many times.

but it did!!!

 

i am in a complete state of shock.

 but so so so happy!

now i am going to go celebrate!

have a great weekend everyone!

i give you permission to have a drink in honor of me ;)

a few of my favorite things

so i'm participating in the send something good project!
organized by the lovely gentri, kaitlyn, and kristy.

basically, everyone got assigned a random blogger who we are going to 'send something good'.

and someone will send me something good!

how fun, right?!

new friends,

plus a package in the mail!

win win.

today we're doing a little link up to see who's participating,

and also to give our 'secret sender' a little more information.

so without further ado and in no particular order,

these are a few of my favorite things:

(cue music) 

well, ten things to be exact.

1. reading

2. jewelry

3. sweet tea

4. all things travel related

5. tea cups
6. country music
7. that feeling you get when you're surrounded by nature in a wide open space
8. instant cameras
9. all things vintage
10. scarfs

2.5 more days

I have two and a half days before i am completely done with the work for my teaching credential.
(celebration dance)

this means two things.

1. i am going to have a LOT more time to focus on this here blog very soon!

(also read as, i don't have a lot of time for the next 2.5 days so please excuse the lapse in blog quality!)

2. i am in over my head busy and bored for the next two days,
while sitting in this chair, at this table, right here:

(yes, that is my stuffed bear/personal assistant in the background. judge me.)

everything i have left is basically busy work. 

papers upon papers upon papers.

i hate busy work.

i sort of want to tear my hair out when i'm doing busy work.

sigh.

but you don't really want to hear me whining do you?

i'll stop now.

on an unrelated note,

did you notice my new blog design by the wonderful kim at 733 design?

i'm kinda loving it!

cottage dreams

i have big dreams.

big cottage dreams to be exact.

the idea of having a cute, country, feminine cottage to come home to after work,

sigh,

it just seems idyllic to me.

i also dream of getting married and having kids.

but i don't think the two dreams are mutually exclusive,

with a few adaptions to the decorating scheme.

but for now,

here are a few pictures of my 'dream cottage'.
i actually get giddy every time i look at these.

oh i can't wait!

 

(all images found on my pinterest 'dream home' board.)

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shauna niequist

i'm definintely a reader.

i read every day.

and i can't go to bed without reading first,

even if it's just a page and i'm already half asleep.

it's almost an OCD level need.

mostly i read novels.

historical fiction is my drug of choice.

but i also have a weakness for young adult books.

(denial about my age? maybe.)

and i occasionally branch out to all sorts of other genres.

what i don't read a lot of is nonfiction.

let me be honest,

i don't like books that make me think too much.

i'm looking for entertainment.

basically, i like books that are a 'getaway' from my normal life.

but there is one author who has been the exception for me.

shauna niequist.

author of cold tangerines and bittersweet.

i LOVE her books.

they are nonfiction.

short essays, stories really, about life.

her honesty is so refreshing,

and her writing is just plain beautiful to me.

(she is also a pastor's daughter like me, which makes me feel extra connected to her.)

 you should read her books.

but for now, 

i thought i would share a few of my favorite quotes of hers with you.

and believe me, choosing just a few is hard!

“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” 

“But this is what I'm finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I'm waiting for, for that adventure, that movie-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets - this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of us will ever experience.”  

“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” 

(image source) 

friday the 13th!

it's rainy outside today.

they say it's going to be a big storm later.

so naturally i'm debating whether the storm is a good enough reason to break rule #1

i can only wear my pajamas all day on the weekends.

the jury is still out.

but in more exciting news,

it's friday the 13th!

i love friday the 13th.

actually i love the number 13 in general.

i was taking a test yesterday at one of those pearson testing centers,

a looooong test.

now i don't have ADD but let me tell you,

i would have given a lot for some ritalin yesterday.

(in no way do i condone the use of drugs you are not prescribed. i'm just saying!)

it was so boring. 

and so hard to focus.

anyways, we've completely got off topic.

they make you put all your stuff in a locker while you take the test.

so naturally i looked for locker number 13.

there was no 13!

12. 12b. 14.... 12b???? what is that??

now i know this skipping 13 thing happens all over the place.

but whyyyyy?

is our society really that superstitious?

still?

13 needs love too.

and in honor of taylor swift, 

who shares my love of 13.

her new song which i am enjoying very much right now:

why i have no camera. part 2.

[if you did not read part 1 of what could also be called my worst date ever yesterday 

stop everything, go back and read it now.

then you can return and continue this horror story with me.]

so here we are.

leaving starbucks and walking over to the theater.

me in a state of shock over what just happened.

D in a state of, well probably wondering what kind of weirdo he was on a date with!

now i don't know about where you live, but in LA you cannot bring food/drinks into a theater.

so naturally i put my coffee in my purse to sneak it in.

i'm quite rebellious.

 

"i'm not sure that's a good idea," D pointed out.

oh no, i assured him, it's fine.

this is a sturdy designer purse.

that coffee is not going anywhere.

plus it has a green little topper on it.

it's safe.

oh how confident i was.

so we head into the theater, buy some popcorn and go find our seats.

(all the while i'm hoping the remains of chocolate on my rear end are not noticeable to every stranger we pass.)

now you know that moment right when you are sitting down,

where you kinda lean forward?

well this is where it all went wrong for me.

my sturdy designer purse leaned forward right along with me.

coffee. everywhere.

all over inside my purse.

all over me.

all over the floor of the theater.

we're talking lots of coffee here.

please let me disappear.

the next few minutes are a blur of him laughing,

me trying not to cry,

the entire theater attempting to help me out,

and so much internal horror.

i truly think i've blocked out specifics.

what i do remember is emptying the contents of my purse one item at a time.

drying them off as best i could.

and laying them out to dry completely.

basically i turned an entire section of the theater into a laundromat.

fast forward to the movie ending.

i gather up my belongings and we head to the car.

at this point D is walking 10 feet from me pretending we're not together.

i'm kidding. but i wouldn't blame him!

so we get to the car and here i am,

chocolate on my butt.

coffee on the rest of me.

and i realize i forgot MY PHONE.

salt on the wound.

cowering in embarrassment i mention this latest development to D.

taking pitty on my sorry state he offers to go get it for me.

i agree.

probably unsure if he's being sweet or trying to get away from me!

now while he's gone i worked myself into some kind of frenzy.

so embarrassed.

so horrified.

he comes back, hands me the phone, and i panic.

should i apologize?

say nothing?

act like this is all normal?

panic.

so i do what any normal person does during a trauma,

i KISS him, say thank you and get in the car.

wait what?

why did i just do that? 

more panic.

that's right, not only do i now apparently kiss on the first date.

i don't even wait for the guy to do it!

please please let me disappear.

he gets in the car.

i'm pretty sure we both pretended it never happened.

and he drove my home.

and as he drove away and i was walking into my apartment it hit me,

my camera was still in the theater.

game over.

so in conclusion, let me just say this:

lesson 1, when a guy really likes you he will put up with a LOT of crazy. 

and lesson 2, next time something embarrassing happens to you remind yourself:

:)

why i have no camera. part 1.

[this post could also be titled my worst date ever. part 1... sigh.]

i have comtemplated the appropriateness of writing this post.

here i am contemplating.

is at okay to write about ex-boyfriends on a public blog?

i'm not really sure.

but this story is just too good not to tell, so here goes.

 don't worry though, i'll keep it classy.

 well mostly classy.

you'll see.

we shall call him D for anonymity purposes.

(yes i realize this is not mysterious for anyone who knows me at all or who stalks me on facebook.)

so i met D at a bar we were both at with friends.

sparks flew.

the next night we went on our first date.

it started well enough.

he picked me up.

we were both a bucket of nerves.

he drove us to main street culver city (in los angeles where i lived at the time),

parked the car, and we went to eat at ugo. 

an italian restaurant i now love.

we ate on the patio.

i smiled and chatted and looked cute.

he opened doors and paid for my food.

good start, right?

i had gelatto for dessert.

vanilla.

this is important.

we get back in the car and drive to the movie theatre

i get out of the car at the theatre.

i hear D (still in the car) say, "what is all over your seat?!?"

"what?"

"there's something gross on your seat," he says.

no.

no. no. no. no. no.

now i have a cute outfit on 

and i really don't want to know what he's talking about.

so in movie style slow motion i turn around and look.

brown... something, 

on my seat.

upon further investigation (embarrassing!) we think it's chocolate.

and not just a little chocolate.

a good amount of smeared, yucky looking chocolate.

I DIDN'T EVEN EAT CHOCOLATE!

(as a side note, D's car is new and clean and beautiful and he's kinda obsessed with it.)

so we conclude there must have been chocolate on my chair at ugo.

(we ate on the patio)

so D finds napkins and begins to clean off the seat.

meanwhile,

i start attempting to clean it off the back of my jeans.

oh yes, you didn't think i'd get away without it being all over me did you?

sigh.

let me be clear,

i am cleaning mysterious "chocolate" that looks like "not chocolate" off my rear-end,

while he is cleaning it off his seat.

it looks like i had an accident!

embarrassing does not even begin to cover this moment.

in the best of circumstances, this would be pretty bad.

this is the worst of circumstances.

i am on a first date!

i. died.

so i attempt to regain what little dignity i have left,

which is not much,

and we head into starbucks to grab coffee before the movie.

oh how i wish i could say,

and i accidentally left my camera in starbucks and it was lost forever but the rest of the date went absolutely perfect and we never spoke of the chocolate incident again.

 

but no,

that fiasco was only the beginning of a long line of embarrassing moments i had ahead of me 

before my camera was lost forever.

(and due to the length of this wonderfully terrible story)

 

to be continued...

happy birthday brian!

it's my brother brian's birthday.

he is 29 today!

he is also a really great brother,

who continually encourages me to trust God with my life.

i am thankful for him.

so in honor of him,

a photo walk:

this was our very first picture together.

he taught me how to dig holes in the sand.

he taught me to drive a car.

 he's a great friend (and traveling companion).

 he looked out for me during college.

 he finally gave me my first sister!

 he trusts me with his children whom i LOVE.

and he's a really great dad.

here he is with his beautiful family!

happy birthday brian!

love you.

no more school. kind of.

how was your easter?!?

i hope you ate lots of food and fellowshiped with loved ones

and celebrated Christ raising from the dead

and took a nap.

i did.

today is day 1 of my post student teaching phase of this journey to my own classroom. 

which means it's the first day in a long time that i could sleep in.

so obviously my body woke me up at 6:40.

thanks for that.

now i can't exactly slack off quite yet.

i have piles of schoolwork that need to be finished in the next two weeks.

and a big test to take.

then i can slack off.

which leads me to my list of rules so i don't slack off all summer:

 1. i am only allowed to wear my pajamas all day on the weekends.

this is unfortunately, a necessary rule.

i love my pajamas. too much.
example, here i am reading to my nephews in my pajamas

it's about 2 o'clock.
just kidding it's nighttime.
but i do have a pajama problem.

2. i will work out at least 5 days a week.

also unfortunately necessary if i want to show off 'my goods' in a bathing suit this summer.

3. i will eat healthy.

i may be dreaming a little here 

but every great accomplishment begins with a dream.

right?

4. i will go outside every day.

sometimes i have hermit tendencies.

and we all need a little fresh air.

i should use my hammock more.

(i swear i'm not that sickly yellow in real life. i'm just very white.)
sigh.

5. i will 'get a life'.

this should really be top priority.

i have been so busy with school and teaching this year i've not exactly made my social life a priority.

it's time.

my behavior is representing an old person a little too much.

so here goes nothing!

happy monday.

so many thoughts.

thought 1:

i finished student teaching yesterday.

i definitely cried, a lot, throughout the day.

i will miss my little kindergarteners.

they were my first class i was with (almost) a whole year.

and the first class i taught solo for a few months (and got paid!).

but gosh am i excited to finish up my credential and have some free time!

thought 2:

it's time to get serious about blogging.

i think.

but i want to get a custom blog design.

and i want to buy a camera.

(i lost mine on a really wonderful embarrassing first date story that i should tell sometime!)

i feel like these two items are crucial for a successful blog.

and will increase my motivation exponentially.

i really just wanted to say exponentially there.

but seriously.

thought 3:

last weekend my brother brian, his wife mary, and the kiddos came to visit.

the kiddos included my new niece kayley.

 

could she be any cuter?!?!? i'm in love.

thought 4:

yesterday was good friday.

and tomorrow is easter.

it's a big weekend for us christians.

actually, i think it's a big weekend for everyone, some people just don't know it yet.

here are my sister-in-law and i at our church easter picnic/egg hunt last weekend.

it is also the weekend of my favorite meal of the year:

easter dinner.

i'm completely serious.

i. can't. wait.

thought 5:

it is so time for me to go see the hunger games again.