and the point is, to live everything.

you are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.

don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
-rainer maria rilke

christmas time is here!

i looooove christmas. the decorations and music and lights and food and family and baby jesus! it's just great. i always get a little christmas crazy!

but, this is the first year that i have had my very own place for christmas. sooo, check out my first christmas tree!!!



yes, there is a bird on top. :)

and in case you need a little christmas cheer. here's my go to christmas cheer song!

thanks.

did i tell you that i got TEN DAYS off for christmas?!?!?! TEN DAYS! i have no idea how that happened, because i certainly don't have the seniority to hold that line... but i got it!!! thank you Lord!

lets see, catch up time.

i've been traveling quite a bit lately which has been nice! back and forth between here and phoenix a lot visiting friends. i am so blessed to have the amazing group of friends i do over in phoenix. i seriously love those people to death. i just wish i got to see more of them! here's a picture of some of the group at dinner, plus one of the girls and i by the fire.




now i know you are just dying to hear what i thought of new moon (perhaps sarcasm). so here goes: i thought it was wonderful! extremely well done. and i know a lot of reviews are saying it was slow moving and depressing and a downer, but these reviewers have NOT read the book. because the movie was extremely accurate to the book. and let be realistic, if you aren't a fan of the franchise, the movies weren't made for you. the movies are for the fans, who are doing a rather great job of making the movie money mind you, so we don't really need anyone else. suffice to say, i found it extremely well done and true to the book, i am pleased.

thanksgiving was great. very relaxing. missed my brothers/sister-in-laws though. i'll attach pictures when i have them.

hope you are doing well! be blessed!

half of my heart.

well i just got back from visiting the family for the birth of my new nephew andersen david! he's absolutely perfect and i love him already. here's a picture of the love.



but now back to the real world.

tomorrow i'll be hopping flights throughout colorado and vegas and back again. it's my least favorite trip to do. it always feels like the day that never ends. but, at least it's worth a lot of hours! then friday i'll hang out with nick, then head over to my best friend's willy wonka themed b-day party! should be fun. followed by a couple more days of flying. then next week i think i'm gonna head over to phoenix for a couple days to visit my friends who i don't see nearly enough lately, a fact they consistently remind me of. thennn, back home in time for a concert, and the new moon premiere. yes, i am counting down the days. i'm not even ashamed to say it. i'm a fan. i am a fan of the twilight books. judge me. :)

november is pretty much a nonstop busy month for me. i'm liking it.

bids came out yesterday. i'll know on the 15th what my december schedule will look like. here's hoping some kind of miracle happens and i have christmas off!!! (fingers crossed)

also, have you heard this new john mayer song, ft. taylor swift?
i love love love it. so relatable.
listen below.

andersen david gudgel!

my second little nephew, andersen david gudgel, was born today at 1:02 pm. he weighs 8 lbs 4 oz and is 19.5 inches tall. he's perfect!



what an incredible miracle. praise God!

time flies.

i can't believe it's already almost over. october is my favorite month and it just flew by! sometimes it scares me how fast time passes.

but november is an exciting month!

baby andersen will be born!!!

dad, mary, danielle, and caitlin all have birthdays!

thanksgiving happens! i love me some pilgrims and indians and food!

and new moon come out! (i'm a nerd for twilight)

what a great month ahead!

battles

i love this concept.

also below i've attached a couple pictures of me before the spike scream awards. we weren't allowed to bring cameras in so there are none for during the show.




it was a lot of fun!

the way i see it #287

extreme. but, so great.

i have a lot of guy friends. always have. and one thing that has come up a lot lately when talking to them is the fact that women don't support each other like they should. we are often so quick to throw each other under the bus. not all women, and not all the time. but there is definitely a difference between the way men interact, and the way women do. so many of my guy friends are genuinely baffled by the way women treat each other sometimes. it's sad really.

i'm a katie girl.

carrie said it best.



"the world is made up of two types of woman; the simple girls and the katie girls. i'm a katie girl."

do what you love.

i adore my life. i do not have everything i want by any means. but what i do have, is pretty wonderful.



do what you love
and love what you do.

it goes a long way towards happiness.

birthday girl!

i had a really lovely birthday. which was nice because the last couple years my birthdays have tended to be disappointing and involving tears. but this year was nice!

i went out to arizona to spend some time with my good friends there the week before, which was great. my arizona friends mean the world to me! here's a picture of my two ashleys and i when we all went out.



then back in LA i went out with work people (plus caitlin) the night before my birthday, which was also a lot of fun! here's a couple pics of my coworkers/friends and i from that night.





then on my actual birthday my mom came to town, i spent a couple hours at the day spa, and then went with family to a beautiful dinner out!

thank you Lord for 24 wonderful years of life! i am blessed!!!

these are some thoughts.

sometimes i think i worry about too much. i've always been this way.

i tend to borrow not just all of todays worrys, but yesterdays and tomorrows as well. i want to know that everything is going to be okay. and okay tends to be some abstract concept of what i "think" would make me happy. i've been catching myself lately wasting times where i could just be happy, worrying about what i need in order to be happy. it's silly.

i have no way of knowing what God has planned for my life. there's that common saying, if you wanna make God laugh tell him your plans. let me tell you, i tell Him my plans ALL the time. and i'm sure He's just up there laughing away. "there's my katie again, making plans that are so much smaller than My plan for her... if she only knew." and it's not that i don't know. i truly do believe God has a plan for me. but sometimes it's so hard to hold onto that.

i think i live with a lot of fear. fear that my dreams may not become reality. fear that i won't be happy. fear that i somehow managed to "mess up" the plan and i will forever be short of it until i get to heaven. fear that His plan and my plan don't exactly see eye to eye. all of which is nonsense. but it's real to me.

be calm.

life lately has been a bit rocky. i mean i'm still very blessed, and things could be so much worse. but i've been hit with one bad thing after another lately. locked out of house. locked out of car. cell phone stolen. money gone. refrigerator broke. food went bad... the list really just goes on. it's just getting ridiculous! and i'm beginning to lose it a little bit.

but, i just need to take it one day at a time, and deal.

{She} ...by Kobi Yamada

She must be something special. She is. Celebrate her.

She loved life and it loved her back. Celebrate her passion.

She listened to her heart above all other voices. Celebrate her wisdom.

She pursued big dreams instead of small realities. Celebrate her priorities.

She saw every ending as a new beginning. Celebrate her resiliency.

She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics. Celebrate her self-esteem.

She was kind, loving and patient…with herself. Celebrate her tenderness.

She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses. Celebrate her accountability.

She realized that she was missing a great deal by being sensible. Celebrate her spirit.

She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans. Celebrate her goals.

She ignored people who said it couldn’t be done. Celebrate her independence.

She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities. Celebrate her magic.

She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could fly. Celebrate her faith.

She discovered she was the one she’d been waiting for. Celebrate her self-reliance.

She added so much beauty to being human. Celebrate her presence.

She walked in when everyone else walked out. Celebrate her friendship.

She just has this way of brightening the day. Celebrate her radiance.

She made the whole world feel like home. Celebrate her warmth.

She decided to enjoy more and endure less. Celebrate her choices.

She decided to start living the life she’d imagined. Celebrate her freedom.

She colored her thoughts with only the brightest hues. Celebrate her optimism.

She was an artist and her life was her canvas. Celebrate her brilliance.

She ran ahead where there were no paths. Celebrate her bravery.

She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself. Celebrate her joie de vivre.

She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye. Celebrate her strength.

She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel she became that light for others. Celebrate her compassion.

She designed a life she loved. Celebrate her joy.

She took the leap and built her wings on the way down. Celebrate her daring.

She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships. Celebrate her happiness.

She remained true to herself. Celebrate her authenticity.

She made the world a better place. Celebrate her.

fall must haves.

my last post was sort of heavy. so this one's about clothes!

i love fall. it's my favorite season. really, it is. i love the leaves changing colors and the way the air turns crisp. and i love the fashions. summer is always about minimalism, especially for all my phoenix people. but fall, fall is when you get to bring out all the goodies!

here's what i'm loving right now...

brown leather jackets


short poofy skirts.


blazers


boots! always.


hair accessories

20/25

i went to the eye doctor this morning. i don't know if i never knew before or just didn't really process it, but the best they have ever been able to make my vision is 20/25. i can't see 20/20. I probably never will. it's a strange thing to think about... and as i was sitting waiting while my eyes were becoming more and more dilated, and the room was becoming more and more blurry, i was thinking about perfection.

we're always seeking it, you know? the perfect spouse. the perfect job. the perfect home. the perfect place to live. the perfect timing... the list goes on and on.

but the reality is, we're never gonna get there. yet.

Christ is perfect.
we are not. and this world is not.

which leads me to a confusing place of trying to figure out how that plays out in my life today. because i WANT perfect. i want 20/20 vision. and a perfect spouse, job, home, etc. not to mention for the timing to just magically fall into place. i want it all... but life is so much messier than that. and i think all we can really do is do the best we can, and make the most of what we've been given.

but am i doing that? i don't ever want to stop seeking perfection. because i think that's where the beauty really is, in the struggle. the daily fight to do better or to be better, even though we know we're never gonna completely get there. but at least we know where we're heading. i can't imagine being fulfilled in a life without direction.

and why can't i take an imperfect life, job, person, etc. and make something great out of it. i don't think the sin is the lack of perfection, i think the sin is in the laziness, the lack of trying because you know you'll never get there. i don't ever want to stop trying...

[i'm not sure if that made sense, but welcome to my mind today.]

califonia's burning.

when in doubt.... check here. www.iscaliforniaonfire.com

my throat is on fire from all the smoke in the air! blah. and due to my lack of air conditioning i have to keep the windows open otherwise it gets in the 90's in my little home. on the plus side, i have a home.

update time.

so it's been a while. i'm not a very good blogger. i tend to go back in forth from loving blogging, to feeling very exposed and not wanting to share anything personal. i'm silly.

lets see, things have been going well overall. work is lovely. i really feel blessed to have the job i do, and unless my energy level is too low, i tend to have a lot of fun doing it!

i've been flying a lot lately, which is great. but i'm finding that i'm more tired lately too. i've been working on balancing staying home at night because i work the next day, and going out because i am young and should be socializing. i'm not very good at balancing this so far and tend to err too far one way or the other, but i'm working on it!

i've been a little overwhelmed lately with life things as well: finding the right church. to date or not to date. attempting and failing to eat healthier. being content in my current place in life. you know, the usual stressors. the thing about me is i'm an overthinker, so sometimes i let these stressors effect me more than i should. and sometimes it's just hormones. :)

but really, overall i'm pretty darn happy! i have great friends. a great job. a great home to call my own. and an amazing family who loves me and supports me 100%. life is good! and as always, i feel very blessed!

i just need to remember to not dwell on the little things.

marilyn.

i always knew i liked her.

everywhere.

until i see You face to face
and grace amazing takes me home
i will trust in You.

the dena!

so i suddenly found myself having 10 days off from work and nowhere to be. soooo, i've been enjoying the relaxing life here in pasadena. and i thought i would point out a few of my favorite things here!

the white hut


i looove the white hut. and during the lunch hour they set up tables in the shade outside. there is something about eating at a little hole in the wall that you can't help but love. you will often find me sitting outside with a book and some food just enjoying the day.

trio's swimming pool



i've practically been living there lately. so nice. thanks boys! : )

regency academy cinemas 6



who doesn't love a 3 dollar movie?!?

-to be continued-

spanglish.

i've decided i need to keep a little notebook with me at work to write down weird things that happen to me. probably 4 or 5 times yesterday things happened while working that i remember thinking i should write about in my blog. but i can never remember! (those of you that know me know my life is a series of weird occurrences.)

i have begun bringing back my high school spanish skills, which were subpar to begin with, when flying to mcallen/mexico. pretty sure half of what i say is nonsense. i get a lot of weird looks. it's sort of a combination of spangish and spanish with terrible grammar and some made up words. i need rosetta...

lets see, what's been going on in my life lately. still enjoy my job. still don't enjoy the drive to/from work. ultimately i would like to move to marina del rey, venice, or santa monica to be closer to work. but right now i'm in a lease so it probably won't happen till february.

my cousin john and his fiance kala are getting married soon. i am excited because i finally have an excuse to buy a new dress! i am excited for them as well of course.

and did you SEE harry potter?!??? i love him.

montana pics!

there are hundreds of pictures from montana, but here are a few of my favorites!


big sky montana.


my beautiful family.


my adorable nephew!


we had a giant slip and slide!


we all had so much fun!


my sisters and i.

much better.

so, life is good.

i like my job more and more as time goes on. i really am lucky to have it.

my schedule is great in july. over half the month off. crazy!

and i'm genuinely happy.



i just got back last week from an amazing vacation in montana with the fam. pictures will follow as soon as i get them from brother #1.

love you all!

times in the sky.

so i've been flying a lot. and by a lot i mean the last 6 days straight. which is the most they are legally allowed to fly us without giving us a day off. so today, is my lovely overdue day of rest. most of which i spent in bed due to an illness that i believe was brought on by exhaustion, combined with a cough that just won't go away.

people always want to hear stories of the exciting things that happen inflight... let me think.

there was some sort of generator problem on one of my flights. not a big deal really. but we were told we had to fly slower so nothing would overheat and to "watch for smoke in the back". great... an emergency landing was considered but ultimately unnecessary.

there was a tribal chief on one of my flights with a permanent frown/glare on his face. he threw his drink on the floor in front of me when i wouldn't take his trash immediately (i was serving food, taking trash while serving food is absolutely not allowed, and it's incredibly unsanitary.) so that was mature of him. i was mostly in a state of shock and then walked away.

an old cowboy man from texas who i like to think was wealthy and owned a ranch told me i was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and then later asked me to feed him a mint. i politely declined.

and then yesterday some ridiculously good looking guy, who clearly knew he was good looking, wanted a drink but didn't have any cash. he then proceeded to say "can you just buy it for me then?" not in joking way, but in a tone that suggested the thought that i wasn't just dying to buy him a drink would be absurd. i once again was in a state of shock and just walked away. what a tool.

my job definitely encounters a lot of interesting characters. some days i absolutely love my job. other days it's just work. but the difference between those two is much more about my attitude, and much less about the people I'm with than anything. and the flight crew. a good flight crew makes all the difference in the world.

life lately.

well i'm officially off reserve and onto a schedule. we'll see how it goes! i definitely work a lot this month. all early morning shifts. bad news about having to wake up veryyy early 5 days a week. good news is i'm off early enough to still have an afternoon/evening to enjoy life.

how do you like your job? i get asked this constantly lately. lets see... i like it. i know i like it. it's long hours. and tiring certainly. but it's not a hard job. the tough stuff is the things hopefully you never have to deal with; medical emergencies, evacuations, etc. but a normal day, it's really an easy job. just tiring. and i love all the people i get to meet! people are fascinating. so i like it. it's a good job. [the commute on the other hand, not a fan]

ali left yesterday for oklahoma. she'll be there a month or two.
alex is going to europe at the end of the month for the summer.
and nick is going on warped tour.
so lots of my favorite people are leaving me this summer. sad!

but i still have lots of people i love out here! and i'm starting to get into some kind of normalcy. this is just sort of an uncertain time in my life. but i'm enjoying the ride!

still working out all the details on my schedule but it looks like i'll be in montana for 4 nights, 20th-24th. wish i could stay longer, but it will still be really fun to see everyone. family vacation time is my favorite! and hopefully later this summer i can get a week or two off to go on a long vacation!

i'm a nerd.

but did you see it?!



now it's not everything i imagined the first trailer to be. but seeing as they only wrapped filming days ago, i like it!

i am officially a ridiculous twilight fan. how embarrassing!

the office

update.

so many travel benefits, so little time to use them.

travel deals are at their best right now because of the economy. travel deals for people in the airline industry are absurd. i just saw a 12 night southern europe cruise for 300 dollars. yes, 300 dollars. throw in free flights and that's CRAZY.

not that i have time off for things like that. but hopefully eventually. =)

---

i still feel pretty unsettled in my life lately. but part of that is because i haven't really been working this month, so i haven't been able to establish a routine. part of it is just life i think. it's messy by nature. things are chaotic and grey and unknown, and i'm just doing my best to keep up. and honor God in the process. it's a full time situation, life.

i've been working hard lately to be happy and enjoy life right where i am. things are by no means perfect, far from it. and i'm not where i thought i would be at this point in my life. or necessarily where i would have chosen to be. but i am where God has me. and that's not such a bad place. and i'm also incredible blessed, which i take for granted daily.

"we tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."

emerson

to laugh often and much.

to win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children.

to earn the appreciation of honest critics

and endure the betrayal of false friends.

to appreciate beauty.

to find the best in others.

to leave the world a bit better;

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch,

or a redeemed social condition.

to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived,

this is to have succeeded.

looking forward

i have lots of things coming up that i am excited about. so i've decided to make a list!

disneyland with the family!!! (this coming weekend)


beach days (alll summer long)


family vacation in montana! (late june)


harry potter and the half-blood prince (july 15th)


caribbean cruise with caitlin (tentatively late august)


A NEW BABY GUDGEL!!!!! (november 19th)
[camden is standing in for his sibling]


new moon! (november 20th)
[i'm a nerd and very excited]

happy mother's day!

hey mama. you're the best mom in the whole wide world (i think so at least). plus you're my best friend. and i am soooooo thankful for you.







i love you!!!

happy star wars day!

so yesterday was my first day officially flying as a flight attendant without someone supervising. and though i actually am currently the most junior FA at the base, i was assigned to fly lead all day (meaning of all the FA's, you're in charge). it was a lot of fun. i like telling people what to do. :)

it was also interesting because we definitely did not have a mellow, everything goes great first flight. we had blind passengers (dogs accompanied). disabled passengers. lap children everywhere. people who were air sick. people walking around in masks to avoid the swine flu. a claustrophobic women who i thought might not make it. people angry because there was no alcohol (no license to serve yet)... the list goes on.

however, i have learned the cure all. gambling. we do a lottery on a lot of our flights, and people absolutely LOVE it. it makes up for a list of evils, including the slowest boarding process i have ever witnessed, let alone been in charge of (oh dear).

but all in all. my job is really a lot of fun! it's definitely tiring, which explains all the mandatory rest periods, but it's fun as far as jobs go... if only i could move the airport closer to where i live.



may the 4th be with you!!!

i'm back!

back in my blogging world. AND more importantly, back home in pasadena!!!

being home is sort of strange. a good strange, but strange. everything feels like slow motion after vegas, where everything was on fast-forward. i was gone five weeks which feels more like 5 years.

but i am officially a flight attendant!



i'm on reserve this month so my schedule is a little up in the air. but i am for sure flying sunday. so that will be fun!

---

on other notes... my parents surprised me with a new kitchen table and chairs in the apartment, which i am sooo excited about! i love it. i really just love my apartment all around. it's charming. 2 days ago a friend came over and he said upon seeing the apartment, "it's different... it looks like movie set." i don't really know what that means but i thought it was funny.

and i found this cute thing.



i love you!