20/25

i went to the eye doctor this morning. i don't know if i never knew before or just didn't really process it, but the best they have ever been able to make my vision is 20/25. i can't see 20/20. I probably never will. it's a strange thing to think about... and as i was sitting waiting while my eyes were becoming more and more dilated, and the room was becoming more and more blurry, i was thinking about perfection.

we're always seeking it, you know? the perfect spouse. the perfect job. the perfect home. the perfect place to live. the perfect timing... the list goes on and on.

but the reality is, we're never gonna get there. yet.

Christ is perfect.
we are not. and this world is not.

which leads me to a confusing place of trying to figure out how that plays out in my life today. because i WANT perfect. i want 20/20 vision. and a perfect spouse, job, home, etc. not to mention for the timing to just magically fall into place. i want it all... but life is so much messier than that. and i think all we can really do is do the best we can, and make the most of what we've been given.

but am i doing that? i don't ever want to stop seeking perfection. because i think that's where the beauty really is, in the struggle. the daily fight to do better or to be better, even though we know we're never gonna completely get there. but at least we know where we're heading. i can't imagine being fulfilled in a life without direction.

and why can't i take an imperfect life, job, person, etc. and make something great out of it. i don't think the sin is the lack of perfection, i think the sin is in the laziness, the lack of trying because you know you'll never get there. i don't ever want to stop trying...

[i'm not sure if that made sense, but welcome to my mind today.]