poker face.

things have been crazy busy here in the vegas. this is probably the most intense thing i have ever done. the hours are ridiculously long and i never get enough sleep.

basically my day is such: every morning i wake up before 6 feeling really sick, like i'm dizzy and nauseous and going to pass out at any moment (i have decided this must be a combination of lack of sleep and extreme anxiety). then i get ready and go downstairs and try to make myself eat something. at 7 a ride comes to take us to the corporate office. classes start at 8 and go till 5. (typically around 10 am i stop feeling sick.) we get back to the hotel around 6 usually. at which point i'm so exhausted the act of finding something to eat for dinner usually takes a couple hours. then i attempt to study. go to bed. and do it again the next day.

we started with i think around 27 people. there are 18 of us now. two left willingly due to family emergencies, everyone else has been asked to leave. so as you can imagine, things are tense around here. which consequently means the drama levels are getting higher. i mean we're 18 veryyyy different people being forced to live and work together 24 hours a day. it's craziness. and to make matters more interesting we're living in sin city, a block from the strip. drama.

but lets see, what are some cool things that have happened so this isn't all downer debbie:
- i have learned a great deal more about gambling than i ever cared or needed to know. but it's fun!
- i asked my roommate if she wanted to pray with me before our last test and 12 people ended up coming outside who i prayed for. so cool!
- i am being challenged in ways i never have before with regards to my faith and people different than me, which is exhausting but cool.
- i really do think this is a great job, it's just the means to it is pretty crazy.



i love and miss you all.

saturday morning blah.

i woke up today feeling a little overwhelmed. just kind of on the verge of tears. but i mean, i cry a lot in general, in life. =) but i woke up just feeling like everything is closing in a little bit. i'm really blessed to be where i am and i'm so excited about the opportunities ahead of me, but it's just a lot all at once.

the environment we are in here is incredibly intense, the expectations are so high, and there are people constantly watching us, even at the hotel. two people have already been sent home. so between all that pressure and the people... well the people are very different than me.

i've had an amazing, blessed, simple life. i've never had to doubt why i am here or what my purpose is. i have full confidence in that. and it's hard for me to be surrounded 24 hours a day by people who just seem so lost to me. who's priorities in life are so completely different than mine... i'm naturally an extremely empathetic person and i have to consciously separate myself sometimes, because i get so "in" things. i don't know if that makes sense.

anyways, tonight i am going to go to the night service at central christian church for some me time. plus, i just saw jamie tworkowski of to write love on her arms is speaking, so that should be interesting.

but right now, i'm headed downstairs for breakfast, a quick workout in the gym, and than a day of studying. miss you all!

waking up in vegas

well here i am.



so far it's been good. i've met a lot of interesting people who are really different than anyone i have ever spent time with before. so that's been a lot of fun for me. i love new people! and everyone is really nice.

i'm definitely one of if not the youngest girls here. and between all the older women and the gay men i have in the last 12 hours been called almost every pet name you can think of. i'm not kidding. pumpkin. sweetie. honey. baby. doll face. love. sweetheart. it's really weird actually. it became a sort of running joke in my head all day as i kept track. at first it was kind of endearing, but as the day wore on i began to wonder if everyone simply couldn't be bothered to remember my name.

classes don't really start in full till next week so i have some extra time to study and such the next few days, which i'm extremely grateful for. we also drew seniority today and i did NOT get a good number. so it looks like reserve is in the future for me.... at first i was pretty disappointed/upset. but God is in control, so i'm just gonna trust Him that everything will work out how it is supposed to, and just roll with it.

this month is definitely going to be an experience, and i don't think i can handle more than 1 day at a time. so that's what i'm gonna do.

well, this day was a veryyy long one that started very early after i got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night, so i'm exhausted. were it not for LOST i would already be asleep.

goodnight moon.

two days and counting.

i leave for the vegas in two days!!! i really have no idea what to expect. i've never spent any time in vegas before besides driving through (weird, i know). but i think it's gonna be great. i just love new experiences. and i mean seriously, it just looks exciting!

in the meantime, i'm still memorizing like crazy, attempting to see everyone possible before i leave, and continuously thinking of more things i need to get done.

life is good!

a new baby gudgel!

so i'm going to be an aunt again!!! the atwater gudgels (brian, mary, and camden) are expecting another little one come november. i am so excited! although it's hard to imagine loving any little one more than this little guy right here...

but i'm sure that i will love our new little one just as much!