why i have no camera. part 2.

[if you did not read part 1 of what could also be called my worst date ever yesterday 

stop everything, go back and read it now.

then you can return and continue this horror story with me.]

so here we are.

leaving starbucks and walking over to the theater.

me in a state of shock over what just happened.

D in a state of, well probably wondering what kind of weirdo he was on a date with!

now i don't know about where you live, but in LA you cannot bring food/drinks into a theater.

so naturally i put my coffee in my purse to sneak it in.

i'm quite rebellious.

 

"i'm not sure that's a good idea," D pointed out.

oh no, i assured him, it's fine.

this is a sturdy designer purse.

that coffee is not going anywhere.

plus it has a green little topper on it.

it's safe.

oh how confident i was.

so we head into the theater, buy some popcorn and go find our seats.

(all the while i'm hoping the remains of chocolate on my rear end are not noticeable to every stranger we pass.)

now you know that moment right when you are sitting down,

where you kinda lean forward?

well this is where it all went wrong for me.

my sturdy designer purse leaned forward right along with me.

coffee. everywhere.

all over inside my purse.

all over me.

all over the floor of the theater.

we're talking lots of coffee here.

please let me disappear.

the next few minutes are a blur of him laughing,

me trying not to cry,

the entire theater attempting to help me out,

and so much internal horror.

i truly think i've blocked out specifics.

what i do remember is emptying the contents of my purse one item at a time.

drying them off as best i could.

and laying them out to dry completely.

basically i turned an entire section of the theater into a laundromat.

fast forward to the movie ending.

i gather up my belongings and we head to the car.

at this point D is walking 10 feet from me pretending we're not together.

i'm kidding. but i wouldn't blame him!

so we get to the car and here i am,

chocolate on my butt.

coffee on the rest of me.

and i realize i forgot MY PHONE.

salt on the wound.

cowering in embarrassment i mention this latest development to D.

taking pitty on my sorry state he offers to go get it for me.

i agree.

probably unsure if he's being sweet or trying to get away from me!

now while he's gone i worked myself into some kind of frenzy.

so embarrassed.

so horrified.

he comes back, hands me the phone, and i panic.

should i apologize?

say nothing?

act like this is all normal?

panic.

so i do what any normal person does during a trauma,

i KISS him, say thank you and get in the car.

wait what?

why did i just do that? 

more panic.

that's right, not only do i now apparently kiss on the first date.

i don't even wait for the guy to do it!

please please let me disappear.

he gets in the car.

i'm pretty sure we both pretended it never happened.

and he drove my home.

and as he drove away and i was walking into my apartment it hit me,

my camera was still in the theater.

game over.

so in conclusion, let me just say this:

lesson 1, when a guy really likes you he will put up with a LOT of crazy. 

and lesson 2, next time something embarrassing happens to you remind yourself:

:)