these are some thoughts.

sometimes i think i worry about too much. i've always been this way.

i tend to borrow not just all of todays worrys, but yesterdays and tomorrows as well. i want to know that everything is going to be okay. and okay tends to be some abstract concept of what i "think" would make me happy. i've been catching myself lately wasting times where i could just be happy, worrying about what i need in order to be happy. it's silly.

i have no way of knowing what God has planned for my life. there's that common saying, if you wanna make God laugh tell him your plans. let me tell you, i tell Him my plans ALL the time. and i'm sure He's just up there laughing away. "there's my katie again, making plans that are so much smaller than My plan for her... if she only knew." and it's not that i don't know. i truly do believe God has a plan for me. but sometimes it's so hard to hold onto that.

i think i live with a lot of fear. fear that my dreams may not become reality. fear that i won't be happy. fear that i somehow managed to "mess up" the plan and i will forever be short of it until i get to heaven. fear that His plan and my plan don't exactly see eye to eye. all of which is nonsense. but it's real to me.