sometimes i think i worry about too much. i've always been this way.
i tend to borrow not just all of todays worrys, but yesterdays and tomorrows as well. i want to know that everything is going to be okay. and okay tends to be some abstract concept of what i "think" would make me happy. i've been catching myself lately wasting times where i could just be happy, worrying about what i need in order to be happy. it's silly.
i have no way of knowing what God has planned for my life. there's that common saying, if you wanna make God laugh tell him your plans. let me tell you, i tell Him my plans ALL the time. and i'm sure He's just up there laughing away. "there's my katie again, making plans that are so much smaller than My plan for her... if she only knew." and it's not that i don't know. i truly do believe God has a plan for me. but sometimes it's so hard to hold onto that.
i think i live with a lot of fear. fear that my dreams may not become reality. fear that i won't be happy. fear that i somehow managed to "mess up" the plan and i will forever be short of it until i get to heaven. fear that His plan and my plan don't exactly see eye to eye. all of which is nonsense. but it's real to me.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
be calm.
life lately has been a bit rocky. i mean i'm still very blessed, and things could be so much worse. but i've been hit with one bad thing after another lately. locked out of house. locked out of car. cell phone stolen. money gone. refrigerator broke. food went bad... the list really just goes on. it's just getting ridiculous! and i'm beginning to lose it a little bit.
but, i just need to take it one day at a time, and deal.
but, i just need to take it one day at a time, and deal.
Friday, September 18, 2009
{She} ...by Kobi Yamada
She must be something special. She is. Celebrate her.
She loved life and it loved her back. Celebrate her passion.
She listened to her heart above all other voices. Celebrate her wisdom.
She pursued big dreams instead of small realities. Celebrate her priorities.
She saw every ending as a new beginning. Celebrate her resiliency.
She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics. Celebrate her self-esteem.
She was kind, loving and patient…with herself. Celebrate her tenderness.
She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses. Celebrate her accountability.
She realized that she was missing a great deal by being sensible. Celebrate her spirit.
She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans. Celebrate her goals.
She ignored people who said it couldn’t be done. Celebrate her independence.
She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities. Celebrate her magic.
She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could fly. Celebrate her faith.
She discovered she was the one she’d been waiting for. Celebrate her self-reliance.
She added so much beauty to being human. Celebrate her presence.
She walked in when everyone else walked out. Celebrate her friendship.
She just has this way of brightening the day. Celebrate her radiance.
She made the whole world feel like home. Celebrate her warmth.
She decided to enjoy more and endure less. Celebrate her choices.
She decided to start living the life she’d imagined. Celebrate her freedom.
She colored her thoughts with only the brightest hues. Celebrate her optimism.
She was an artist and her life was her canvas. Celebrate her brilliance.
She ran ahead where there were no paths. Celebrate her bravery.
She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself. Celebrate her joie de vivre.
She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye. Celebrate her strength.
She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel she became that light for others. Celebrate her compassion.
She designed a life she loved. Celebrate her joy.
She took the leap and built her wings on the way down. Celebrate her daring.
She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships. Celebrate her happiness.
She remained true to herself. Celebrate her authenticity.
She made the world a better place. Celebrate her.
She loved life and it loved her back. Celebrate her passion.
She listened to her heart above all other voices. Celebrate her wisdom.
She pursued big dreams instead of small realities. Celebrate her priorities.
She saw every ending as a new beginning. Celebrate her resiliency.
She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics. Celebrate her self-esteem.
She was kind, loving and patient…with herself. Celebrate her tenderness.
She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses. Celebrate her accountability.
She realized that she was missing a great deal by being sensible. Celebrate her spirit.
She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans. Celebrate her goals.
She ignored people who said it couldn’t be done. Celebrate her independence.
She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities. Celebrate her magic.
She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could fly. Celebrate her faith.
She discovered she was the one she’d been waiting for. Celebrate her self-reliance.
She added so much beauty to being human. Celebrate her presence.
She walked in when everyone else walked out. Celebrate her friendship.
She just has this way of brightening the day. Celebrate her radiance.
She made the whole world feel like home. Celebrate her warmth.
She decided to enjoy more and endure less. Celebrate her choices.
She decided to start living the life she’d imagined. Celebrate her freedom.
She colored her thoughts with only the brightest hues. Celebrate her optimism.
She was an artist and her life was her canvas. Celebrate her brilliance.
She ran ahead where there were no paths. Celebrate her bravery.
She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself. Celebrate her joie de vivre.
She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye. Celebrate her strength.
She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel she became that light for others. Celebrate her compassion.
She designed a life she loved. Celebrate her joy.
She took the leap and built her wings on the way down. Celebrate her daring.
She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships. Celebrate her happiness.
She remained true to herself. Celebrate her authenticity.
She made the world a better place. Celebrate her.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
fall must haves.
my last post was sort of heavy. so this one's about clothes!
i love fall. it's my favorite season. really, it is. i love the leaves changing colors and the way the air turns crisp. and i love the fashions. summer is always about minimalism, especially for all my phoenix people. but fall, fall is when you get to bring out all the goodies!
here's what i'm loving right now...
brown leather jackets
short poofy skirts.
blazers
boots! always.
hair accessories
i love fall. it's my favorite season. really, it is. i love the leaves changing colors and the way the air turns crisp. and i love the fashions. summer is always about minimalism, especially for all my phoenix people. but fall, fall is when you get to bring out all the goodies!
here's what i'm loving right now...
brown leather jackets
short poofy skirts.
blazers
boots! always.
hair accessories
Friday, September 4, 2009
20/25
i went to the eye doctor this morning. i don't know if i never knew before or just didn't really process it, but the best they have ever been able to make my vision is 20/25. i can't see 20/20. I probably never will. it's a strange thing to think about... and as i was sitting waiting while my eyes were becoming more and more dilated, and the room was becoming more and more blurry, i was thinking about perfection.
we're always seeking it, you know? the perfect spouse. the perfect job. the perfect home. the perfect place to live. the perfect timing... the list goes on and on.
but the reality is, we're never gonna get there. yet.
Christ is perfect.
we are not. and this world is not.
which leads me to a confusing place of trying to figure out how that plays out in my life today. because i WANT perfect. i want 20/20 vision. and a perfect spouse, job, home, etc. not to mention for the timing to just magically fall into place. i want it all... but life is so much messier than that. and i think all we can really do is do the best we can, and make the most of what we've been given.
but am i doing that? i don't ever want to stop seeking perfection. because i think that's where the beauty really is, in the struggle. the daily fight to do better or to be better, even though we know we're never gonna completely get there. but at least we know where we're heading. i can't imagine being fulfilled in a life without direction.
and why can't i take an imperfect life, job, person, etc. and make something great out of it. i don't think the sin is the lack of perfection, i think the sin is in the laziness, the lack of trying because you know you'll never get there. i don't ever want to stop trying...
[i'm not sure if that made sense, but welcome to my mind today.]
we're always seeking it, you know? the perfect spouse. the perfect job. the perfect home. the perfect place to live. the perfect timing... the list goes on and on.
but the reality is, we're never gonna get there. yet.
Christ is perfect.
we are not. and this world is not.
which leads me to a confusing place of trying to figure out how that plays out in my life today. because i WANT perfect. i want 20/20 vision. and a perfect spouse, job, home, etc. not to mention for the timing to just magically fall into place. i want it all... but life is so much messier than that. and i think all we can really do is do the best we can, and make the most of what we've been given.
but am i doing that? i don't ever want to stop seeking perfection. because i think that's where the beauty really is, in the struggle. the daily fight to do better or to be better, even though we know we're never gonna completely get there. but at least we know where we're heading. i can't imagine being fulfilled in a life without direction.
and why can't i take an imperfect life, job, person, etc. and make something great out of it. i don't think the sin is the lack of perfection, i think the sin is in the laziness, the lack of trying because you know you'll never get there. i don't ever want to stop trying...
[i'm not sure if that made sense, but welcome to my mind today.]
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
califonia's burning.
when in doubt.... check here. www.iscaliforniaonfire.com
my throat is on fire from all the smoke in the air! blah. and due to my lack of air conditioning i have to keep the windows open otherwise it gets in the 90's in my little home. on the plus side, i have a home.
my throat is on fire from all the smoke in the air! blah. and due to my lack of air conditioning i have to keep the windows open otherwise it gets in the 90's in my little home. on the plus side, i have a home.
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