saturday morning blah.

i woke up today feeling a little overwhelmed. just kind of on the verge of tears. but i mean, i cry a lot in general, in life. =) but i woke up just feeling like everything is closing in a little bit. i'm really blessed to be where i am and i'm so excited about the opportunities ahead of me, but it's just a lot all at once.

the environment we are in here is incredibly intense, the expectations are so high, and there are people constantly watching us, even at the hotel. two people have already been sent home. so between all that pressure and the people... well the people are very different than me.

i've had an amazing, blessed, simple life. i've never had to doubt why i am here or what my purpose is. i have full confidence in that. and it's hard for me to be surrounded 24 hours a day by people who just seem so lost to me. who's priorities in life are so completely different than mine... i'm naturally an extremely empathetic person and i have to consciously separate myself sometimes, because i get so "in" things. i don't know if that makes sense.

anyways, tonight i am going to go to the night service at central christian church for some me time. plus, i just saw jamie tworkowski of to write love on her arms is speaking, so that should be interesting.

but right now, i'm headed downstairs for breakfast, a quick workout in the gym, and than a day of studying. miss you all!

waking up in vegas

well here i am.



so far it's been good. i've met a lot of interesting people who are really different than anyone i have ever spent time with before. so that's been a lot of fun for me. i love new people! and everyone is really nice.

i'm definitely one of if not the youngest girls here. and between all the older women and the gay men i have in the last 12 hours been called almost every pet name you can think of. i'm not kidding. pumpkin. sweetie. honey. baby. doll face. love. sweetheart. it's really weird actually. it became a sort of running joke in my head all day as i kept track. at first it was kind of endearing, but as the day wore on i began to wonder if everyone simply couldn't be bothered to remember my name.

classes don't really start in full till next week so i have some extra time to study and such the next few days, which i'm extremely grateful for. we also drew seniority today and i did NOT get a good number. so it looks like reserve is in the future for me.... at first i was pretty disappointed/upset. but God is in control, so i'm just gonna trust Him that everything will work out how it is supposed to, and just roll with it.

this month is definitely going to be an experience, and i don't think i can handle more than 1 day at a time. so that's what i'm gonna do.

well, this day was a veryyy long one that started very early after i got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night, so i'm exhausted. were it not for LOST i would already be asleep.

goodnight moon.

two days and counting.

i leave for the vegas in two days!!! i really have no idea what to expect. i've never spent any time in vegas before besides driving through (weird, i know). but i think it's gonna be great. i just love new experiences. and i mean seriously, it just looks exciting!

in the meantime, i'm still memorizing like crazy, attempting to see everyone possible before i leave, and continuously thinking of more things i need to get done.

life is good!

a new baby gudgel!

so i'm going to be an aunt again!!! the atwater gudgels (brian, mary, and camden) are expecting another little one come november. i am so excited! although it's hard to imagine loving any little one more than this little guy right here...

but i'm sure that i will love our new little one just as much!

future flight attendant! (hopefully)

well, since my last real post i was offered a job as a flight attendant!!! i am very excited, but for the moment also very stressed. everything i have heard is that training (4.5 weeks in vegas) is very intense and not everyone makes it through. also, before i get there i have about 60 terms and 177 airport codes to memorize. it's a lot, and most of it makes no sense so there's no easy way to learn it except straight memorization. i have exactly a week to learn it all and i'm definitely feeling the pressure.

BUT, aside from that i am very anxious/excited/nervous/still excited about everything. i truly believe this job is God's plan for me right now, and i'm excited to see where it takes me. i have no idea if this will be a year thing or a long career, or heaven forbid i don't make it through training. but it feels right. i see so many opportunities for myself both personally to grow, and to serve God in this job.

it's gonna be great.

here are a couple pictures of how i WISH the uniforms looked...

polyvore.

cool site where people make creative things.


twilight !! - by MiCKEYMOOSE♥ on Polyvore.com

and i love twilight. ♥

my process.

things i have learned recently:

-when planned correctly. one meal a day is plenty. light snacks can fill the rest of the space.
-doing dishes really isn't that bad when you have gloves on.
-unemployment is not nearly as fun as it sounds.
-not carrying cash in a city that seems to run on cash only can save you tons of money.
-not carrying cash in a city that seems to run on cash only also may cause you to spend your laundry money if you are not careful. (oops)
-losing your debit card and not carrying cash in the above mentioned city, is just a bad idea.
-if i ever really feel lonely, i just have to open my window. there are always plenty of interesting conversations coming from the women's rehab next door.
-if i ever feel like i have it bad, i just have to open my window. there always plenty of reminders that i don't have it bad coming from the women's rehab next door.
-and music is always a good idea. remember music.

so things are starting to come together. i have some work coming in. which means money will soon be coming in. this fact alone does my soul a world of good. i still have a lot of things i want/need to do here, but life is a process. the point is that i'm in it.